omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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