Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I think i got beer on your cat.
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