i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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