id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
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his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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