needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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