Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize