She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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