; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize