How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize