and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize