Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize