My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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