dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize