Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
