Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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