I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's shark week go big or go home
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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