He uses pillows to masturbate.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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