I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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