nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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