so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize