this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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