I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize