It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize