I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize