We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize