She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
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I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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