He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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