you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize