Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize