Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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