Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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