I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize