so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize