yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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