he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize