you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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