It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
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Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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