She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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