considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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