Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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