we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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