..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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