I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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