do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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