i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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