I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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