I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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