The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The air taste purple.
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