you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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