she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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